Print’s not dead. It has just been on heavily advertised life support. And now, in its critical condition, it’s being subsidised to your benefit. I know, you can get all your news from the magical intertubes, but right now, in what is probably a deal with the devil, EGM is giving out 1 year subscriptions to anyone who wants em.

Just follow this link.

If you have tried to play any games on Xbox Live over the last month, you could probably go on and on about poor connection speeds, random disconnections, and lag. Let’s be honest, lately XBL has been a big pile of suck. But alas, gamer! Microsoft has finally revealed which XBLA title they will be giving us to satiate our demands. Next week, Undertow will be hitting the Marketplace for FREE! Not sure I know anything about this game, but two facts alone make me interested. It is free, and it’s not Frogger!

Uwe Boll. Is there anyone that can garner such universal hatred amongst gamers? His latest crapfest, Dungeion Siege cost over $70 million to make, and has so far only earned about $3 million. It’s crashing hard, even for Boll’s already low standards. But the question I must ask myself is, who the hell is trusting this man with $70 million!?

Uwe Boll’s life is a strange one. For a long time, his horrible movies, which lost money, were actually funded by exploiting German tax loopholes. A German film industry subsidy program, which thankfully has now been canceled, meant he could make movies that lost money, and still personally make money.

It’s widely known and accepted that his films are terrible, but what bugs me about Boll is that he doesn’t even understand the nature of the criticisms against him. People are not constantly assaulting his craft because he retells stories, or alters the mythos of an established fiction. No, people write horrible things about Uwe Boll, because he generates some of the most unenjoyable, poorly made schlock the world has ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, some bad movies can be so bad, they have charm and are actually enjoyable. But Boll’s films have about as much to enjoy as ripping your fingernails off.

Boll doesn’t take these comments lying down either. He has actually challenged critics that write poor reviews of his work to boxing matches. After watching a match, you can tell that the childish irony escapes him.

To be completely fair, I have not yet seen Dungeon Siege, so my comments are not entirely directed to that particular film. But given his track record of films I have seen, recent reviews, and its reception, I can safely assume nothing has changed. Where’s all this coming from you ask? Well, Boll has decided to stop making “big budget films”. And will instead stick to smaller films. Basically, I think this can be translated as, people are chasing him out of the industry, and he can no longer hide under a tax shelter program. This makes me very happy, so on behalf of GVP, I’d like to say goodbye to Uwe Boll. Let’s take a look at some of the films he has thrown together.

• Blackwoods
• House of the Dead
• Alone in the Dark
• BloodRayne
• In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege
• Postal
• BloodRayne II (pre production)
• Zombie Massacre (pre-production)

Some things are just so hideously dark and evil, they can never truly die. After yet another skeptic pronounced this site to be dead, I announce my return. Am I just childishly responding to reverse psychology? Yes. It’s just like that time in Friday the 13th 6, those two stupid kids dig up Jason’s grave, and stab his body with a metal pole, and lightening strikes, and Voila! Reanimated Jason. Yeah, it’s like that, but a video game blog. And a silly comment. And it’s not actually evil at all.

My hiatus was due to a few ironically opposite reasons. For the first stretch of the fall/holidays I was playing games so much I didn’t bother to report about them. Then after finishing the flood of games (as well as The Flood themselves), I was a little burnt out on the whole thing. Also, in that time, I have received a new job, traveled to Germany, and celebrated Christ’s birth. But now, I have returned. Some quick news bits to catch you up…

I am now a staff writer for TwinGalaxies.com. I will be adding regular reviews to the site, so keep your eyes peeled for more content here. My first review was Beats for the PSP.

I love Rock Band.

On my other blog, which is usually all the non game related things in my life, I posted the top 10 Movies, Music, and Games of 2007. While most of the post doesn’t apply to games, that is where you can view my game picks from 2007.

I can’t really guarantee any specific amount of upcoming news, since things have been kind of slow in the games industry, but I will definitely not take the kind of break I did before.  Who knows, maybe another post will come later today.  In the words of Samuel L. Jackson.  “Hold onto your butts!”.

Wow, I haven’t posted in a while. Not sure if there’s anybody still out there, but I just wanted to say that I’m starting to get really excited about this holiday season. It’s only September, and the gaming flood is already starting. Basically from now, until Christmas there’s going to be on average more than one stellar game a week. Obviously given the price, and the time necessary, this is too much to keep up with. But the ride is fun.

I started using Google Calendars to track release dates on games I am even mildly interested in. As with all Google web apps, I soon become enamored with its simple interface and all the cool things it can do. Google Calendars allows you to share specific categories of dates. For instance, the fact that I am tracking all these release dates, means that without any work, you can too. Just click here to go to my Video Games release calendar. From there, if you want, you can add it to your very own Google Calendar. I also have calendars for Concerts, Movies, and TV Show releases.

Today a coworker of mine pointed me to a web based Zombie MMO. It’s called Urban Dead, and once you get past its utilitarian interface, it proves to have considerable depth. First of all, as with all MMOs, you choose a class at the beginning of the game. You can be a Scientist, Civilian, in the Military or a Zombie. Aside from the Zombie class each class has multiple subtypes as well.

Urban Dead takes place in the sprawling suburbs of Malton. Although it’s conveniently blocked, it contains a fairly balanced and diverse territory. UD has a definite old school RPG feel to it. Each movement and action uses Action Points (AP), of which you are limited, and must replenish when you run out. You must make sure you are in a safe place before you log off, or you may get eaten. To give you an idea of a random player’s experience, I started the game scavenging ruins and searching for a safe place to stay. I chose a Scientist class, so I quickly began trying to take DNA samples from shuffling zombies. I became too ambitious and actually got infected from a bite. Now I have to find a hospital to cure myself before I become a Zombie. If I do become a Zombie, I can stay a Zombie, and hunt the survivors. Or, I can seek revivification from a Doctor.

Another interesting aspect of UD, is its involved community. It’s been out for a few years, but people are still battling for control of key areas. There are an astounding amount of factions and groups of both survivors and zombies. One look at the map of the suburbs shows that the zombies have pushed survivors to the brink. Drilling down to a specific suburb shows you an almost daily update of its progress, and even reads like its own little narrative. Currently I am hiding in Peppardville, which you can see is fairly volatile at the moment.

Although UD’s gameplay can be limited by its finite Action Points, it definitely encourages you to make multiple accounts, and provides an immersive experience. Give it a try; did I mention it’s completely free?

Don’t worry, this post isn’t about Metroid. Well, it’s not entirely about Metroid. Last night I found myself watching the latest editions of Game Trailer’s Retrospectives of Metroid and Final Fantasy. The episodic feature is a very well produced and intelligent look at specific game series. Last year, to coinicide with the Twilight Princess release, they did an amazing job on the Zelda retrospective. And this year to go along with Metroid Prime 3, and a slew of Final Fantasy releases, they are giving those games the same treatment. Check them out if you have a chance. If you have an Xbox 360, I would definately recommend burning all of them in WMV format on a disc, and watching them on your TV.

• Zelda Retrospective
• Metroid Retrospective
• Final Fantasy Retrospective

Don’t forget, yesterday Nintendo made available the original Metroid on the Wii’s Virtual Console. Also, Nintendo posted some more videos on their Metroid Prime 3 preview channel. One such video tells us of the Aurora unit computers, and their striking similarity to a certain maternal cerebrum. Since I was in such a Metroid mood, I found quite a detailed Wiki on the subject, and found a few random downloads. First of all, in case you need to port an old game save, or just start the game at any given point, someone has made a nice Metroid password generator program. Also, yet another selfless fan has translated the recent Japanese manga canon backstory. In what will hopefully be a regularity, I posted them both in my new Download section. Hope you enjoy.

In case you hadn’t noticed that pulsating blue light on your Wii, let me fill you in. Today, Nintendo released a “Metroid Prime 3 Preview” channel and has proclaimed August to be the Month of Metroid. (Cue Fanfare) The preview channel is a streaming video client to showcase some impressive MP3 clips. So far 2 videos are available and 2 more to be available on 8/13. The videos are pretty amazing, and just had me wanting MP3 even more, though I didn’t know that was possible.

That’s all well and good, but here’s the kicker: Metroid and Super Metroid will be released on the VC over the next couple of weeks! Metroid will hit on 8/13 for $5, then Super Metroid on 8/20 for $8. This will all culminate in Metroid Prime 3’s release on 8/27. By the way, did I mention that Super Metroid is the greatest game ever made!? Super Metroid is the first title I thought of when I heard of the Virtual Console concept. Needless to say, I am excited.

Last night I downloaded the demo for the upcoming JRPG, Eternal Sonata. What at first was mild interest quickly turned into intense anticipation. This game is so polished. Now in case you aren’t familiar with the title, it has a pretty odd plot. Basically, the 19th century Polish composer, Frédéric Chopin is on his deathbed with Tuberculosis. You are playing in his dream. Now when I say it like that it sounds pretty dull, but you play in a beautifully vibrant fantasy world where music plays a key part. It’s interesting that we see such unrealistic fantastical elements and the dark reality of the death of a historical figure wrapped up into one story, but it seems that’s exactly what ES is attempting. To be honest, the plot isn’t what has me anticipating this game, it’s the beautiful world, intense gameplay, and wonderful music that all tie together. The battle system is very fun to play. It is kind of a mixture of action RPG and timed battle systems, with character specific abilities that change depending on environment. And aside from some cheesy localization dialogue, everything looks polished and AAA. Eternal Sonata hits store shelves (and my Xbox 360) on September 17th. Check out the trailer embedded below.