Uwe Boll. Is there anyone that can garner such universal hatred amongst gamers? His latest crapfest, Dungeion Siege cost over $70 million to make, and has so far only earned about $3 million. It’s crashing hard, even for Boll’s already low standards. But the question I must ask myself is, who the hell is trusting this man with $70 million!?

Uwe Boll’s life is a strange one. For a long time, his horrible movies, which lost money, were actually funded by exploiting German tax loopholes. A German film industry subsidy program, which thankfully has now been canceled, meant he could make movies that lost money, and still personally make money.

It’s widely known and accepted that his films are terrible, but what bugs me about Boll is that he doesn’t even understand the nature of the criticisms against him. People are not constantly assaulting his craft because he retells stories, or alters the mythos of an established fiction. No, people write horrible things about Uwe Boll, because he generates some of the most unenjoyable, poorly made schlock the world has ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, some bad movies can be so bad, they have charm and are actually enjoyable. But Boll’s films have about as much to enjoy as ripping your fingernails off.

Boll doesn’t take these comments lying down either. He has actually challenged critics that write poor reviews of his work to boxing matches. After watching a match, you can tell that the childish irony escapes him.

To be completely fair, I have not yet seen Dungeon Siege, so my comments are not entirely directed to that particular film. But given his track record of films I have seen, recent reviews, and its reception, I can safely assume nothing has changed. Where’s all this coming from you ask? Well, Boll has decided to stop making “big budget films”. And will instead stick to smaller films. Basically, I think this can be translated as, people are chasing him out of the industry, and he can no longer hide under a tax shelter program. This makes me very happy, so on behalf of GVP, I’d like to say goodbye to Uwe Boll. Let’s take a look at some of the films he has thrown together.

• Blackwoods
• House of the Dead
• Alone in the Dark
• BloodRayne
• In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege
• Postal
• BloodRayne II (pre production)
• Zombie Massacre (pre-production)

Some things are just so hideously dark and evil, they can never truly die. After yet another skeptic pronounced this site to be dead, I announce my return. Am I just childishly responding to reverse psychology? Yes. It’s just like that time in Friday the 13th 6, those two stupid kids dig up Jason’s grave, and stab his body with a metal pole, and lightening strikes, and Voila! Reanimated Jason. Yeah, it’s like that, but a video game blog. And a silly comment. And it’s not actually evil at all.

My hiatus was due to a few ironically opposite reasons. For the first stretch of the fall/holidays I was playing games so much I didn’t bother to report about them. Then after finishing the flood of games (as well as The Flood themselves), I was a little burnt out on the whole thing. Also, in that time, I have received a new job, traveled to Germany, and celebrated Christ’s birth. But now, I have returned. Some quick news bits to catch you up…

I am now a staff writer for TwinGalaxies.com. I will be adding regular reviews to the site, so keep your eyes peeled for more content here. My first review was Beats for the PSP.

I love Rock Band.

On my other blog, which is usually all the non game related things in my life, I posted the top 10 Movies, Music, and Games of 2007. While most of the post doesn’t apply to games, that is where you can view my game picks from 2007.

I can’t really guarantee any specific amount of upcoming news, since things have been kind of slow in the games industry, but I will definitely not take the kind of break I did before.  Who knows, maybe another post will come later today.  In the words of Samuel L. Jackson.  “Hold onto your butts!”.

I’m back! After moving to a new apartment, and waiting for the ridiculously slow installation of Internet, I am once again part of the blogosphere. So what have you missed? Well, aside from the obligatory VC vs. XBLA entries, not much has happened in the videogames world. We are all patiently awaiting the deluge of announcements this year’s E3 will bring us. But that’s not until July 11^th.

So what do bloggers do when the news is dry? We rant. And today, I’ve got a doozy of a rant. Today, I want to talk about digital distribution. Basically digital distribution is purchasing and downloading a game through the internet. No store, no retailer, no shipping, no fuss, no muss. Its advantages are clear, and some are already touting it as the unequivocal future of game distribtuion. However, there are a lot of subtle disadvantages as well. Let’s take a look.

First of all, purchasing your games this way means it’s got DRM. And while I won’t play the part of the idealistic open-source fan-boy, and say that all DRM is bad; it’s important to realize that DRM will never be good for the consumer. DRM means you won’t be able to purchase that VC title and play it at your friend’s house. Granted, Xbox Live tracks their licensing both by your console, and Gamertag, so you can technically login to XBL and play your XBLA games at a friend’s house. But it’s still never your game. It is simply a game you have purchased a license to play under a distributor’s terms. On the other hand, a quick trip to the store nets you a physical copy of a game to use, play, and even re-sell at your own leisure.

Secondly, digital distribution claims to bring a lower price to the consumer, because of saved expenses on production, shipment, and retail. However, the problem lies in the fact that the prices are set by one distributer, and are almost invariably inflexible. The XBLA titles that were $10 at launch are still $10. You don’t get a price break, there are no sales. For example, the new Oblivion Expansion pack was made available on Xbox Live for $30, the same exact price as the physical release of the PC version. No price break was given to the consumer, and mere weeks later, the PC version was on sale at Circuit City for $17.99. Still a solid $30 on XBL, it will be $30 years later. About the only thing a smart consumer can do, is find deals on obtaining Microsoft and Wii points, but those are few and far between.

Finally, there is no used game market with digital distribution. This is one of the primary reasons why you will see software companies pushing the digi-distro model. Used game sales mean nothing to publishers, but they are a great way to recoup some of your gaming expenses. Also, great trading sites like Goozex can’t exist. Essentially digital distribution allows no re-distribution, thereby limiting the versatility of the market.

Now, don’t misunderstand. I am not unequivocally against digital distribution. They make great sense on getting small $5-10 games on VC and XBLA and even episodic content, but I know that those games aren’t really mine. But we can’t allow publishers to push complete titles exclusively this way.

As you can no doubt tell from all the recent posts, I am loving Guitar Hero. And at $90 for the bundle, I had better. It was a steep price, but I justified it knowing that it came with a well built controller (ironic), and that it would contain new features, like the ability to download new songs. What I wasn’t counting on, was the now obligatory microtransaction raping. Today, three Guitar Hero I song packs hit the Xbox Live Marketplace. All three song packs contain three songs, and cost 500 points ($6.25). Now I have heard many sides of this argument, but I am of the persuasion that this is entirely too much money for songs from the game’s predecessor. Were these brand new songs with master tracks, maybe. But repackaged cover songs? No. Someone quickly did the math. At this rate, in order to buy all Guitar Hero tracks, it would cost around $98! Vote with your wallet, do not buy this crap, and maybe we will see a bundle or discount down the line. Heck, I still haven’t beaten it on Hard yet.

For the record, the song packs are…

Pack 1: “Bark at the Moon,” “Hey You,” “Ace of Spades”

Pack 2: “Killer Queen,” “Take it Off,” “Frankenstein”

Pack 3: “Higher Ground,” “Infected,” “Stellar”

Starfox 64 (N64) – 1000 Points
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES) – 600 Points
Dragon’s Curse (TG16) – 600 Ponts

Today’s release looks pretty solid. I definitely loved Starfox and TMNT, but wait 600 Points for TMNT? I was under the impression that most people thought Nintendo was already pushing NES prices too far at $5. Now they are stretching it even further? Look, these game titles are great, but I’m a little disappointed at this. I was going to get it, but I really don’t want to encourage this artificial digital-distro inflation. Am I still bitter that the Oblivion Expansion is $30 on XBL? Yes. Yes, I am.

For as much time I’ve had with my Wii, there are still some things that make me wonder. For example, what’s that clip on the back of the Classic Controller for? I read somewhere that the plan was to clip the Wii Remote to the back of the Classic Controller. Is that still planned? Wouldn’t that be a little awkward?

What happens if my Wii Sports disc breaks? It’s not sold in stores. It’s only available as part of the Wii package. Would I have to buy a Wii just to play Wii Sports?

Why aren’t my updates downloaded automatically? When the WiiConnect24 service was first announced, one of the primary advantages listed was that I wouldn’t have to download updates. Now all that happens is my Wii glows blue when an update is available. I still have to get on and sit through a download. This should be fixed with an update.

Finally, and I think this one has the most interesting ramifications, why does the Classic Controller have analog L and R triggers? Right now the classic controller can only be used to play VC games; games which do not require analog L and R buttons. Could we see other emulated games on the VC? Like a Dreamcast emulator that reads the original discs? I’d throw down 1000 points for that, easy. Will we see Wii games that require the classic controller as a means for traditional control schemes? Time will tell, but still, something to think about, eh?

It’s been a long time since I was able to post an entry, but I’ve been having fun with my new console, the Nintendo Wii. Because of my over-zealousness, I was able to pick one up at a Toys R Us with my pre-order. I was so excited! I had been waiting since May of 2005 for this thing, and for the most part, I am still thrilled about it. Here are some of my first impressions with all the different features and games:

Mii Channel
Albert and Robbie were over to see the unveiling of the Wii, and one of the first things we did was create Miis for all of us. It was pretty fun, and Albert even created some extra fictitious ones of funny looking people. One of my favorites was named Mr. Chong, an Asian fashion designer with an extremely large head. Sounds weird, I know, but we had a fun time just making Miis.

Photo Channel
This is pretty basic. You can display pictures on your SD card, and even display them in slide shows. What’s cool is you can play around with pics, kind of like Mario Paint, and even turn your pics into puzzles. One small annoyance is that the only way to play MP3s on the Wii is to put on a slideshow. There should be a dedicated MP3 channel (in time I guess). Also, only the MP3 filename is displayed, no ID3 information. I can see this being neat for when people get back from vacation. They can just stick an SD card into the Wii and show off their pictures.

Wii Shop Channel
Some people had some serious update woes, but I got my downloads just fine. After a couple of updates, I was able to hop on the Wii Shop Channel and download some VC titles. It was easy enough; I bought some Wii points and downloaded the original Legend of Zelda, and F-Zero. Yesterday, some Turbo Graphx 16 games showed up, and I downloaded Bonk’s Adventure.

Virtual Console Games
From what I can tell, all the games I downloaded play exactly like their real life counterparts. This is a plus and a minus. On one hand the classics are perfectly preserved, but on the other hand there are no added features like online playability, etc. Each game you download becomes its own channel. I had no multiple games of the same console, so I couldn’t tell if they are grouped by console within a channel. The interface is pretty sleek though. Whenever you are done playing, you can just hit the home button and go back to the main menu of the Wii. When you exit the game, your ROM state is saved, so you can effectively save your game anywhere.

Message Board
Basically email for the Wii. One thing that is neat is that your playtime log is posted here. So you can see exactly how much time you play what. Whenever I register someone’s email to send them a message, Nintendo has to send them an email to see if that’s OK. What’s annoying is that when Nintendo sends them that email, it looks like this:

An owner of a Wii Console is asking permission
to register you as a Wii Friend to exchange
e-mail with you. This individual’s Wii e-mail address is
w5523873316449966@wii.com ….

As if anyone knows who w5523873316449966 is. Hopefully I can change this with some setting or option I have overlooked, or Nintendo will change it.

Weather/ News Channel/Internet Browser
These channels are not yet available, but should be coming shortly according to Nintendo. I think the Weather is coming sometime in December, and News sometime in January. No word on when the Opera browser is coming though.

Wii Sports
Wii Sports was a lot of fun, especially with lots of people. Some games I really enjoyed were Tennis, Bowling, and Golf. I couldn’t quite get the hang of Baseball or Boxing, but I was getting better at it. The motion controls aren’t as easy as Nintendo pretends they are with their funny promotional spots, but they aren’t hard either. It takes a few minutes to get a grasp on what works and what doesn’t. I really thought this game would be a throw-away. I’d play it for an hour and that would be that, but it’s got more replay-ability than I expected. There are extra challenges and fitness modes, and being able to play with and see all the Miis you create is really fun.

Red Steel
So far I haven’t played this one much. I put it in just to show Albert and Robbie what it looked like. I played a little bit of the 1 player mode, and found the controls to be very difficult. The verdict is still out on this one. Maybe after a lot of time, I could get it down. The graphics and style do look good though. I’m really hoping I can tame the controls.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
I saved the big one for last. This really is the reason to own a Wii. So far this game has been great. I have played it for about 6 hours, and I feel like I have only scratched the surface. The graphics look good (not great), and the motion controls are really fun, but right now what looks the strongest is the story. I really like the concept of two different worlds, and although it’s been done countless times by Nintendo, it just feels like it is true to the story. It seems like in previous games of light and dark worlds (Zelda: Link to the Past, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes), these worlds were created as an artificial gameplay mechanic. Like a way to double the play field while keeping maps. In other words, this gameplay mechanic dictated the story. However it just seems more organic and true to the story in Twilight Princess. There have been some reviews about how Twilight Princess is just the latest exhibit of a tired game mechanic, but I like the game mechanic, and I don’t think it’s tired (yet). I agree that not much has changed from Ocarina of Time (dungeon syles, Power-ups, abilities, etc) , but considering how great that game was, and the added motion controls and great story, this is one of the best launch titles I have ever seen.

So there you have it, my extended wiikend with the Wii. This is actually my first console to get on launch day, and I’m loving it. If you have any questions about the Wii, feel free to post them in the comments section and I will answer them.

Some PS3 launch day violence updates: melees, shootings, muggings, stampedes, and robberies. Who needs GTA when you can live it. Unfortunately, all this news only feeds the hype and makes stupid people want it more.

In what’s only the latest display of Sony’s arrogance, SCEA VP Jack Tretton responds to a question on an interview with Wired with a very stupid comment.

“Do you have a response for people experiencing backwards compatibility issues and/or television upscaling problems?

I would like my car to fly and make me breakfast, but that’s an unrealistic expectation. We’ve reported problems on only 200 of the 8000 PlayStation 1 and 2 games. I would challenge the average consumer to say that there are significant problems with any of the games in their library.”

So Basically Jack, what your saying is that our hopes of Sony doing what it said it would do are paramount to an imaginary flying culinary automobile? …… OK, one Wii please.

To refer to the Wii’s ability or inability to play DVD movies as confusing would be a vast understatement. Over the months before the Wii’s release, we have seen several different reports about it. Here’s a run down of what’s been announced. At E3 2006 it was announced that the Wii would play DVD movies, since it’s media format was DVD, this wasn’t a big surprise or a big deal. Then a few months down the road, Nintendo starts saying something about buying a separate dongle to play DVD movies. Still no big deal, I mean most people aren’t going to play movies on it anyway. Fast forward again to September, Nintendo now announces that you will not be able to play DVD movies with your Wii, dongle or no dongle, it ain’t going to happen. October brought us news of a new version of the Wii, available only in Japan, that would play DVD movies. Still not a big deal, in fact this sounded very similar to the obscure Japanese only Panasonic Q (DVD movie player enhanced Gamecube).

Finally, to the point, news broke today that a new DVD movie capable version of the Wii would hit the US in the latter half of 2007. This leaves me confused. First of all, if the Wii is capable of reading DVD discs (which it is), shouldn’t a software solution be the only thing required? If so I think the best way to solve the problem would be to sell the DVD playing software over the Wii Shop Channel to offset licensing costs. However, If Nintendo does in fact release a nearly identical Wii next year with DVD movie playback it will only create confusion and anger the early adopters. Nintendo has a bad habit of selling new version of consoles too quickly. It gets to the point where people just make excuses to not purchase the current version. I know a couple of people on the fence about this, and one friend has even said he was disappointed about the Wii not playing DVD movies. I can assure you, he’s not going to buy a Wii until this whole mess has been cleared up. If there is indeed some strange physical limitation that the Wii lacks to play DVDs, why not let it be. In my opinion, DVD player penetration is so steep, and prices so low that the possible dual SKU confusion would outweigh any added sales. Either way it doesn’t effect me since I have a DVD player, but I want the Wii to succeed. Nintendo shouldn’t already be talking about making a new version of the Wii, for goodness sake it’s not even out!